Creating a positive life

48374595_352702208643247_3080087477944320000_n“Nothing changes, if nothing changes” – Vanessa Haldane

People with a good job, good circle of friends, loving family and who are genuinely happy are lucky, right? They’ve just been handed everything in their life, haven’t they?

!WRONG! And if you are someone who thinks this way, then I am glad you have visited this blog – we need you here <3

I am often told that I am “lucky” and whilst I feel incredibly blessed, luck ain’t got nothin’ to do with it. Luck didn’t create a successful home business, luck didn’t create a loving 18 year relationship, luck didn’t create work, modeling and influencer opportunities, luck didn’t bring me my health and fitness and luck sure as heck didn’t buy me my home or raise my children! Hard work, commitment, persistence and most importantly POSITIVITY  changed my life in an amazing way.

I have not always been this “happy’ – in fact, up until my 30’s I had a real victim mentality. I was bitter about the struggles I had been through in my life, the situations I had been in and the horrible events that had occurred in my life. I thought I deserved MORE, that I deserved BETTER and I expected “more’ and “better” to just happen – to magically appear in my life. It doesn’t work that way…. change takes time and it takes- well….. CHANGE.

Here I have a little guide, some tips, if you will, to how you too can change your outlook and create a positive life. This change will bring you happiness in abundance – so don’t start next year, dont start next week, don’t even start tomorrow – start NOW.

  1. DECISION – The first step – You have to make a decision – today – to become more positive and to make some , very difficult, changes. Negativity not only affects your mental health but also your physical, promoting more stress and illness!
  2. BE GRATEFUL – Lose the attitude of entitlement. It is practically impossible to lead  a happy and positive life when we are focussing on what we lack in our lives, and not appreciating what we already have. Start the practice of finding just ONE thing in your day, that you are grateful for. It can be as simple as being grateful for the sunrise or the cool breeze on your walk to work. Starting a Gratitude Journal can really help. Kiki K have some fabulous ones, but a simple notebook from Kmart is also perfectly fine!  Kiki-K Gratitide Journal
  3. LAUGHTER AND RESILIENCE – Sounds like a weird combination but , trust me, they go hand in hand. Are you easily offended by little jokes or light sarcasm? Try building up a little resilience and laughing more often. I’m not talking about a nasty or passive aggressive joke or comment, I’m talking about a light joke. Try laughing (fake it til you make it!) instead of becoming offended and learn to laugh at yourself and your silly mistakes instead of berating yourself 🙂
  4. DO FOR OTHERS – Doing something for others creates a sense of purpose and self worth. Start small by complimenting a friend or stranger, help someone solve a problem, hold open a door for someone and work your way up. Maybe eventually you can volunteer at a local charity or help a local family fundraise during a tough time.
  5. SELF TALK –  This is a huge one! Have a think about how you talk to yourself; Would you talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself? No? Then change it! This was really hard for me to do, and it took me ALOT of time and ALOT of practice. I constantly put myself down so instead of saying “I’m so weak! I sucked at that workout!” I now say “I’ve come so far, today was hard and I am proud of myself for turning up!”. If you’re like me, you may say the negative first – just make sure you follow-up with a positive ,to slowly change your mindset.
  6. RELATIONSHIPS – We become who we surround ourselves  so CHOOSE wisely. Yes I said “choose” – you decide who you spend your spare time with so limit your time with those who put you down, put others down, constantly negatively self talk, are victims or narcissists.  Instead, surround yourself with people who empower you to be better, love you for you and have a love and zest for life that just makes you smile.
  7. VICTIM MENTALITY – Stop being a victim! You are responsible for your thoughts and you are responsible for your actions. Life is about choices and we have all made bad choices that have resulted in a negative outcome. Own it, learn from it, move on from it!

“Become the happiest most positive person you know”

Remember that Nothing changes, if nothing changes and this includes relationships, work, fitness, food, health and… YOU.

Much Love, Ness xoxo


About Author

Having experienced trauma in my life, such as sexual abuse, domestic violence, rape, metal illness, suicide and eating disorders - I never believed a happy, positive life was possible. Through sharing my stories I hope to empower other women towards a more positive mindset and knowing - there IS life after trauma. Some of the topics I discuss are pretty intense and uncomfortable - but the uncomfortable topics are the ones we need to be talking about more. Lets raise awareness for said topics, lets empower each other to be more self loving and lets create an amazing community of strong, supportive women xo

(1) Comment

  1. […] gratitude and positivity – check out my guide to leading a positive life here Creating a positive life – this is HUGELY […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

%d bloggers like this: